It has sadly been a very long time since I last sat behind my computer and poured out my thoughts onto this platform. As the end of my time in Australia began to approach, time began to move quicker. We were so devoted to making every moment count that we started fitting months into weeks and weeks into a matter of days. I felt those last moments were far too precious to document. Everything was happening so fast that it was almost overwhelming. I kept repetitively telling myself to be breathe in and be grateful for every moment as it was occurring. I am completely positive that I grew more during those last 3 months than I have in years, and that is my greatest achievement yet. Spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Now, I deeply contemplated about ever writing about these sacred moments and sharing my thoughts, because I was sure nobody would understand the true significance of the development I experienced. I knew that coming back home, the only things that would matter to most people would be very surface level – where did I travel, where did I work and how much money did I earn. These things were not the purpose of me going to Australia. I could happily never talk about those aspects of my journey ever again. Those aspects simply built the foundation that allowed the experience for me.
It is incredibly difficult to explain the realisations I came to during my travels. For those who are interested, I will happily elaborate. After all, the most I can do to provoke change where I want it, is to be vulnerable and share my thoughts and opinions. No matter how terrifying. I mean at least I am being true to myself. I am trying to keep in mind that we are all living our lives and travelling different paths of self-growth and development and not everyone will understand your path. This does not mean that my path is a less valuable one than someone else’s. Many might quickly jump to label me as a”hipster”, “bohemian” or even a “world-saver”. I too, didn’t fully understand this “lifestyle” or state if mind. In theory, it is extremely simple. I gave myself the freedom to separate myself from society. Studying, work and other such things are simply a means of validation that we are all seeking. It is the safe and simple thing to do that will please everyone and benefit everyone – but yourself. (Not always of course. if you are studying something you love or working a job you enjoy then that is a completely different scenario). Taking the time to seperate myself from the modern societal structure taught me incredible self-discipline, awareness, broadening of perspective, minimalism, simplicity, trust, patience, values and the underrated importance of human connection. It also helped expand my mind to the endless possibilities in this life. Only through experiencing true freedom, did I realise my capabilities. I felt (and still feel) that I could do anything I set my mind to.
I went to Australia as an extremely self-conscious, shy and weak person. I had been battling heavily with my self-confidence for almost two years, constantly seeking for validation from anyone or anything external. No matter how much advice or reassurance I was given, I could never begin to battle my insecurities – my ego, our biggest enemy. Coming back home, I feel like a different person. Australia allowed me to let go of what my perception of myself was. Spending time in nature, surfing, hiking, soaking in sunshine and warmth began to heal my self-perception piece by piece. I got too distracted focusing on my inner world that I completely forgot about my body. I think we have to remind ourselves that our body is simply a temple for the soul. Our modern society is built up on feeding off of peoples insecurities, making people feel like they aren’t good enough. I can’t even begin to imagine how powerful the world could be if we encouraged inner beauty instead of glorifying the outer. And yes, I know you hear this everyday. But think about it for a second, deeply. You would never want anyone to love you just for the way you look, would you? Then stop pleasing the people that would. Love yourself and others deserving of your love will too. Simple. And for the record, I absolutely still struggle with this here in Estonia. I feel like a fish swimming in an aquarium full of judgment and expectations. It requires a lot of strength to love. That kind of strength doesn’t come overnight. Self love is probably the most underrated foundation for success in life. It is so – so powerful. At one point, self-development became almost addicting to me. Every new day was like a challenge for pushing my boundaries and limits. Sometimes being something as simple as making myself go for the next wave surfing, even if I just got absolutely smashed for 20 min straight.
To those people who find themselves thinking of the way they look while having a conversation with someone. I have been there. The reality is that you feeling uncomfortable in your skin completely shatters the possibility of them connecting to you on a deeper level. Let me tell you- I met a lot of people in Australia. I mean I probably introduced myself 300+ times during my time there. Never once did I think “I wonder if I look okay” and never once did I care what someone else was wearing or looked like. Meeting all those people, I began to perceive people in a completely different way. Not just as a pair of pretty eyes and nice clothes, but as doors opening in front of me. Every door leading to a completely unique personality, heaps of valuable knowledge and the most beautiful part – the soul. His or her dreams, pleasures, hobbies, desires and most precious memories. An endless universe waiting to be explored right before your eyes. How easy it was to start a conversation about absolutely anything if no boundaries were set. Some of the most valuable moments in Australia that I will forever remember, were the most simple conversations held with strangers at hostels, cafes and festivals about anything and everything. Intimacy and connection with another person is probably the most valuable experience we have and we surely do not embrace it enough. This also taught me that I am never alone.
Human connection is just a step away from your comfort zone.
Till’ next time kids,